Our Town!
Dear beloved tourists. We have heard that yesterday our policemen had stopped you and told you about the dangers of Romanian thieves. The information is OK but incomplete. Here are some other things you should know.
Don’t get killed in Braşov. In recent years some people got killed in Braşov but our prosecutors never found any criminal. They just framed someone. In one case that has cost us about half a million euros.
Don’t give money to the beggars. Those aren’t poor people. They are an organised community that gets money from stupid people without doing anything. Kinda like our politicians really, so, by any means, don’t give them money. Also, don’t give money to the politicians.
Beware of “Comunitari”. If you see some people dress like policemen, with writings on their uniform like “Poliţia Comunitară Braşov” beware: they aren’t really policemen, there are just actors who travel around the historical area of the city chilling out. You can find some of them near the Council House, in the Council Square (Piaţa Sfatului) sitting in the shadow of the building. Their sole purpose is to let the so called “şmecheri” park their car in the Council Square. If you are not a “Şmecher” or you don’t know one, it is illegal to park there.
Fake policemen
Prostitutes. You can find prostitutes absolutely everywhere in Braşov; ask for “Erotic Massage Saloons”. They are in every city guide, including on the webpage for our city-paid wireless. If you like a cheap prostitute you may go in the Bartolomeu area “la pod” where you can get a blowjob for 10 euros (tourist prices, use a condom, STD’s may apply). Actually prostitution is illegal in Romania so, if you have money, you better pretend you’re a music producer, you’ll get as many women you like with little costs.
Beware of the hidden policeman. Our policeman like to practice something called “stat la pândă cu radaru“. They are hidden in different parts of our city and try to get you if you cross the speed limit. If you are aggressive towards them you might need to pay the fine, otherwise, 10 euros hidden in your papers when you hand them will be ok.
Romanian Hospital: small chance of death by wrong diagnosis, electrocution, fire or sword wielding gypsies
Other notes. In case of a serious earthquake you’re dead. Our recent developments in city architecture had an effect on the buildings. In case of a flood you’re dead, we can’t handle floods. In case you meet a bear you’re dead. Those animals can actually kill you, they’ve done it before. There is a small chance of death or food poisoning if you eat in restaurants in town. There are small chances to be killed by dogs, with or without owners. In any case you will not get compensation for any of these. Also, don’t get sick. If you get to the hospital there is a chance you may die by malpraxis, different diseases or fire. It doesn’t matter what you are there for, you could die at any moment. Watch the zebra crossings near the roundabouts. They are something new in town, our drivers are not so smart and they can actually hit you with the car and kill you.
We hope you enjoy your staying in Braşov!
Just wonderful!:)
Asta da brand de tara. Ar trebui sa-ti depui Cv-ul la Ministerul Turismului. Pun pariu ca astfel de texte ar atrage mai multi turisti decat actuala campanie. Pentru 10 euro un blowjob merita sa-ti asumi celelate riscuri
=)) =))
Lovely piece of art. Now I’ll have the oportunity to reccomend this website also to my foreign friends, here in Cyprus.
Good job, Ovidiu!
App … “but our prosecutors never found any criminal” .
Cred ca corect era “murderer”, pt. ca “criminal” are sensul de infractor din cate stiu. Nu ca n-ar fi infractor respectivul, dar e mai mult decat atat.
Sa ma corecteze careva daca gresesc.
Păi şi ce, au găsit infractorul care a făcut infracţiunea numită crimă?
Au gasit unu, da’ i-au dat drumu … dar tot cu infractiunea numita crima era si el acuzat. Plus ca omu’ doar facea sala in zona. Iti dai seama daca juca paintball? Pe viata intra.
Man! …si eu tocmai ma chiteam sa vin in excursie cu scoala
))))) Gata, de-acuma, plan B: sejur educativ in Kossovo si Shqiperia!
“We hope you enjoy your staying in Braşov!”
)
)
in case of.. you’re dead
in case of..you’re dead
e clar, nu mai dau pe acasa asa curand….
Danger is sexy
Oh yeah
Very good English by the way
Well, thank you.
can’t say the same though. however, it’s somehow readable.
that’s the spirit
Era bine sa fie singurul oras din Romania asa…din pacate….
Brașov, mă întorc! S-a cam uitat vameşul ciudat la mine dar mi-a dat drumul.
Mi-am adus aminte de panourile care existau la ieşirile din Berlinul de Vest şi la graniţele cu fosta RDG…
Ar trebui pus şi la noi ceva de genul: You are going to leave European civilization. Entering Romania is on your own risk.
DOBITOCULE!!!!!! Mare prost mai esti…… pe cuvantul meu.
Fiule! Deşi nu ţin minte, că eram probabil beat, se pare că tu eşti. Ce mai face mama ta, ce mai zice?
Cu cine vorbeşti tu pe aici?
Stii tu cum sunt unii oameni care se uita dimineata in oglinda si se incurajeaza cu “You’re the best!” si “You can do it!”?. Fix la fel doar ca pe invers
Mi se pare o mare prostie ceea ce e scris.. practic nu poti nici sa locuiesti in Brasov.. k orikum .. mori.. atunci cum cateva sute de mii sunt vii si nevatamati in acest oras?.. crek cel care a scris articolu.. o fi avut vreo iubita din Brasov ce’l ducea prin oras.. si acum se razbuna p tot orasu ca ii aduce aminte de ea
)).. oricum.. Brasov e cel mai frumos oras din Romania.. si merita vizitat
I think it’s very stupid what’s written in this articol. Practicly u can’t even live in Brasov because you’ll die.. then how a few hundred thousan people are alive and unharmed living in Brasov? I think that the guy who wrote the articol had a girlfriend from this town and she was takeing him all over the place, and now that Brasov remindes him of here.. he probably want’s to get revenge .. Anyway.. Brasov it’s a great city.. The most beautifull in Romania and it really pays to visit.. u got nothing to loose.. and your life.. is safe here
)
Practic n-ai înţeles despre ce e vorba în text încă din primul alineat.
I think you are mentally retarded.
Si uite asa ne facem noi anti-reclama. Pestele de la cap se impute!
In loc sa educam societatea romaneasca, sa ne ocupam de “binevoitori”, sa facem ceva pozitiv pentru noi, istruim turistii cu “Be AWARE”. “Incidente d-astea” sunt peste tot in lume. Si e logic ca fiecare tre’ sa-si apere pielea. Da’ sa-ti faci singur anti-reclama, parca-i prea de tot! Mare pacat! Turistii, unii vor aprecia “sinceritatea sistemului”, altii se vor speria s-o vor lua la goana!!! Si uite asa ne dam foc singuri…
App. de gura sloboda. Cunosc niste straini, care au fost “bine informati” cu diverse despre Brasov, Romania, traiul nostru samd: “romanii, chiar si-n 2011, merg la gara la piscina sa faca baie(in bazin, da? nu la vestiare), ca n-au apa acasa…”(una din info.).
Mno… Sa traim bine!